This a very important psychological test.  In the picture below you will see females depicted with a range of facial expressions.  Study the facial expressions and try to imagine what is actually happening in these images:

Anyone who has followed this crap website over the past six years could assure you that one genre keeps poking its proverbial head out more often than not.  That genre is, of course, "the toilet".

Realistically, I should have named this article "Fart Facts" but the temptation of seeing "Jane likes Farting" popping up in my Facebook news feed was more than I could handle.  Naturally, this would require "Jane" to click "Like" above this article, but if we assume that she has both a sense of humour and a working index finger - then the rest should simply fall into place.

In my entire life I have only met one person who didn't enjoy a good fart or toilet humour in general.  Needless to say, that person is no longer in my circle of trust... and will miss out on such important and riveting facts such as those about to follow.

In case you were unaware, farting is (in techno-speak) a mass eruption of intestinal gas into the atmosphere via your anus.  Some stink (rather appropriately) like shit.  Others do not smell at all. These sometimes hilarious, sometimes downright scary, expulsions are a mix of air and gas: a by-product of your guts doing what they're supposed to: digest stuff.

The average fart is composed of nitrogen (59%), hydrogen (21%), carbon dioxide (9%), methane (7%) and oxygen (3%).  The remaining 1% is made up of a miscellany of shit. Unfortunately, sometimes quite literally.

Average Joe (read: YOU) will fart fourteen times a day (personally, I eclipse that - but I am a rare talent indeed) and, consequently, produce half a liter of fart gas.  It's true what they say, farts ARE flammable and are capable of screaming out of your arsehole at up to 11.3kph!

Every now and then a website appears on the Internet of some note.  Que: crabrevenge.com - a site that revolves entirely around giving someone who has royally pissed you off a solid dose of crabs.

I gather that the "cool bit" is that you don't have to acquire crabs yourself to do this.  Well, outside of via the post that is. (Not that post).  Additionally, it is normally hard, no puns intended, to rub your genitals against someone you dislike enough to warrant giving them crabs anyway!  So now, with this handy service, all you need do is get within the proximity of their clothing or their bed and sprinkle some of the magic itchy dust in their general direction.

I am mildly amused by this and vaguely interested in the "application instructions" to guide you through the process of getting hold of these pesky critters and applying them somewhere without catching yourself in the cross-fire.  There's a "fail blog" waiting to happen.